Why Do You Fail?-1

Success in simple terms could be defined as the manifestation of any significant desire into reality. There are broadly five areas of success such as Career, Finance, Health, Relationship Building and Spirituality. When a person desires to achieve something, it starts with a thought.  If the thought is strong enough, then it is followed by complementary behaviour. If that behaviour becomes automatic, then that habit becomes instrumental in reaching the destination. 

Most of you start with a positive thought of achieving something. But, unfortunately, the thought is not that strong enough to motivate a particular behaviour for a long time. If there is no repeated behaviour, there is no habit. And when there is no habit, success will be infinitely far away.

The one vital reason you fail to form a habit is that you are TRYING TO CHANGE THE WRONG THING. Let's take an example. The thought is that I want to be successful in writing a book. If I have to write and publish a book, the first thing I have to do is to write. Once I start writing, I should not stop after a few days. My writing routine should continue in such a way that it should become a habit. It is only when I make sure that I write every day like I brush my teeth, I can successfully complete writing a book and publish it.

Think of a few things that you want to pursue, maybe learning a musical instrument, or any dance form or even exercise. You start with a determination to follow this regime religiously. But after a few days, you stop doing it. If someone asks you, you come up with many excuses starting from COVID-19 to never-ending assignments of work from home. Some may even say that their work from home and work at home duties have doubled! But ask yourself. Was it just because you didn't get enough time to pursue it, or is it because of your laziness?

Writing can be a tedious task because you are not sure if someone will like your article. Even if someone likes your article, they may not express it. Even if they express it, you are not sure if this writing is taking you somewhere in your life. With all these uncertainties, you lose the motivation of writing and publishing a book. You may still feel you should write, but you don't. Because the result is not immediate. Most importantly, you are trying to develop a writing HABIT based on the SYSTEM OF OUTCOME. You want to achieve something out of writing. Your write up should go viral like tik- tok videos. Some thousand people should like your writings on social media. Without such actions, you never feel a sense of achievement. The adrenaline rush is missing.  Gradually you lose the motivation to write. 

Writing is one habit I used as an example. You can replace writing with any other habit. As long as there is no immediate change, you never feel like repeating it.

You are TRYING TO CHANGE THE WRONG THING.

Then how to develop a writing habit?

Make your habit, your identity. Change your focus from what you want to achieve to what you wish to become. This is called IDENTITY-BASED HABITS. If you want to become a writer, no one needs to say that you have to write every day. You write every day. If you want to be identified as a healthy person, you automatically start consuming only healthy food. If you want to be identified as a knowledgeable person, you start reading and learn from others every day. If you want to be identified as a singer, does someone need to remind you that you should practise singing every day? It automatically becomes your second nature. 

When you are proud of your identity, you work for that identity even though success doesn't knock on your door at an early stage. However, it is up to you to find out which identity gives you a proud feeling, a feeling of a positive self-image. 

While OUTCOME BASED HABITS demand motivation from external sources, in IDENTITY-BASED HABITS, motivation is intrinsic. You don't lose motivation if there are no immediate breakthroughs. When the goal shifts from Writing A Book to Becoming A Writer, behaviour becomes atomic that turns the behaviour into a habit.

Therefore shift your goal 

‌from Scoring Good Marks in NEET (National Entrance Eligibility Test) to Becoming A Doctor.

‌from Singing Songs to Becoming A Singer.

‌from Building A Body to Becoming A Body Builder.

‌from Reading Books to ____________(fill the answer in the comment section.)