Be a Human Switzerland

Many years ago, on the annual day program of our college, one of my students performed a semi-classical dance with her friends. She asked me via text the next day for my feedback on their performance. I am basically not a big fan of classical dance because of my substandard taste, though I am an amateur yakshagana and theatre artist. Commenting on her dance would only expose my ignorance of that dance form. So, I replied that I was not eligible to comment as I didn't know much about dance. 

But she insisted.

The dance was very slow. It could rather be called dramatic movements. There weren't many steps. From the audience point of view, no one would think that the dance was worth memorable unless for someone who had taste for classical or semi-classical form. I didn't want to sound dishonest in my opinion.  So, I told what I felt.

She responded to my feedback telling that that was how classical dance should be. And I didn't know much about it!

She made me look like an idiot in a fraction of second.

Passing judgment is not so uncommon. Being a lecturer, I too have resorted to the same sin in the past many times.   

If you are asking for a suggestion or feedback from a particular person and he gives it, you have three modes to choose. The positive mode, the negative mode and the neutral mode. Even when you get unsolicited feedback, the options remain the same. When you receive feedback unexpectedly, your reaction will be naturally negative. You try to defend your action to nullify the feedback, or you may even end up judging the person who offered feedback.

Passing judgment for any reason, either justified or unjustified would never do any good to you. If you take initiative to get feedback and judge on the feedback after receiving it, people would take it as an offence. Even if you get feedback when not asked for, the best way to reply to all feedback is "thank you". This sounds neutral.

 This doesn't mean that they are right. You only have to hold your urge to judge. Your response should be neutral like Switzerland. As you may know, Switzerland is a neutral country and its armed forces do not take part in armed conflicts in other countries. In contrast, the armed forces have been part of several peacekeeping missions all over the world. 

Being neutral helps you in many ways. First, this becomes a habit. Second, when you don't judge an idea, you save much time debating about it and no one can ever argue with you. Third, people begin to see you as an agreeable person even though you never agree with them. They feel you are more open to ideas, and they always knock on your door to express new ideas which may benefit you. 

Being judgmental also prevents you from finding your full potentiality. When you constantly evaluate, classify, label, analyse, you create a lot of turbulence in your internal dialogue. This depletes your energy and becomes a roadblock to your success as well.

In his book " The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success, " the author Deepak Chopra insists on practising non-judgment at least one day in a week to find one's pure conscious or infinite creativity.

Reward yourself whenever you don't judge. Fine yourself whenever you judge.

Kindly practise this and let me know if you find any changes in you.